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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25432315">#28</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schweet/pseuds/Schweet'>Schweet</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What Would I Even Tell Her [28]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bipolar Disorder, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Poetry, angry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:34:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25432315</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schweet/pseuds/Schweet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What Would I Even Tell Her [28]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605673</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>#28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hello Elizabeth</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The past few days I have been thinking of nothing other than being diagnosed as bipolar</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ever since Miss Margaret told me she thinks I am</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It won’t change anything</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But I just want those words to be written down in my file officially</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just to get it over with</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Miss Margaret said I have shown signs of being bipolar ever since I started going to her over six years ago</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My mother says Dr. Donna thought I was bipolar but couldn’t diagnose me because I was too young</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My mother told me I had bipolar when I told her about the 37 hour binge and the 17 hour spree</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Google says I have Bipolar II when I asked if getting 3 hours of sleep every night for a week and waking up feeling more refreshed than if I had gotten ten was normal</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If everyone is telling me that I am bipolar</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That I have been for as long as they've known me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That they have always suspected</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why am I only now learning of this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Does no one have any idea of the pain I have been through these past six years</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not knowing where my depression comes from</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not understanding why some weeks I could be on top of the world</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why sometimes I could write for hours on end and create something beautiful</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then a few days later want to kill myself?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why I could sit in front of the computer for hours and do nothing but hate myself because I couldn't make a single word slip through my fingers onto the page?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The perfectionism my teachers complained about since kindergarten?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s common in those with bipolar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The anxiety I have struggled with since second grade, since I forgot to do my math homework and had to face Mrs. Grimm?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s common in those with bipolar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The depression that has fucked me over so much the past 6 years?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s right! You guessed it! Very common in those with bipolar!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If everyone knew</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why did nobody fucking tell me?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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